Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
