dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
