Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize