i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
