Sponge bath it is.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
