He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
