Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
