You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
