he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize