failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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