i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
