I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
