wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
