Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
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Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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