I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
