apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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