Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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