I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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