I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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