careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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