Don't you send me to vm
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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