I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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