she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
