we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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