Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Life is so much better after having sex.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
