i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
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my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
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(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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