Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
