Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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