Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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