You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.