i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
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The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex