I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just want nice things and good sex
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
