I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
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Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.