She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
