doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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