Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
