I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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