No stitches, just platelets and will power
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize