i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
