Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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