he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Send help, water and tortillas.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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