Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My ass is underappreciated
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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