sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
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90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
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Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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