weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...