it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.