Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
