So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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