I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Randomize
