She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
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