i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
