I wanna passion pit in your ass
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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