I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
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Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My feet surprised me
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