so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
