We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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