Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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