ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
