is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
