hotel room ftw
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
