Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
