I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
