Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
